Imagine me saying that in a tone of voice similar to that of an eleven year old boy bragging about his first pubic hair to one of his pre-pubescent chums. It would probably help if I followed it up with, ‘ner ner ner ner ner x 3’.
It is confirmed, I don’t have Chlamydia. I received an email earlier today notifying me and it read as follows (I’ve deleted boring parts):
This is COAST. Thank you for screening for Chlamydia recently. We are pleased to advise you that your test is NEGATIVE.
Now, here is some useful info to remember!
You should be re-screened routinely once per year between the ages of 15-24 if you remain with the same sexual partner.
If you change partners and have unprotected sex you should re-screen each time (but not more often than every 5 weeks).
It is really important that we start to reduce the number of people with Chlamydia, as it can have serious effects – you can help us to do this by using condoms!
its eeezy – peeezy
I do apologise for the lack of apostrophe in “it’s” on the last line. Clearly basic English skills are not required in the NHS. I also apologise for the misuse of the word “advise” in the second sentence. They are not giving me advice in telling me I’m Chlamydia free. They are informing me. And whilst I’m on the subject I’m also perturbed by the fact that it didn’t say “The coast is clear” as I was promised by those who had previously been tested – the virginityless friends. I am aware that I have created a new word there considering I have just moaned incessantly about spelling and grammar in the atrocious email above.
I have noticed that this week 6 people have clicked “read it” which means at least 6 people read it - obviously. I was kind of stating the obvious there. What’s better is that Pete didn’t read it and normally does and neither did my dad. Therefore, I believe I can get at least 8 people to read it this week. I would like to set myself the goal of attaining 10 readers this week. So if anyone is reading this can you click “read it” at the foot of the post and can you get anyone sitting next to you to read it also on their computers (so that they can click “read it” again without it saying you’ve already clicked it once.)
I realised earlier that my sense of humour leads me to laughing at the most immature of things. For example, I was on the bus home earlier today and I saw a sign that I’ve seen many times before that said “hump”. And it just looked, to me, like the government wanted a bit of a laugh and thought they'd have "hump". If it even is the government that makes that decision, I have no idea. However, I don’t believe anyone other than me can say that at 16 and above they find that funny.
I'm supposed to talk about something related to home improvements and I have been struggling for inspiration. That is until I was sat with Becky and Sinead at lunch time and took a look at the hideous sofa Becky's mum had bought. And because you can't by it at AAA Bedz (link at top) I can quite merrily slag it off for a little while. Though I think you could probably do it for yourself.
From a distance it doesn't look too bad but if you go on the website and look at it full size (last page of fabric sofas -DFS) you'll realise that it is just hideous. The stripes are hideous and quite chavvy. It looks quite dated. The colours are an abomination when combined and overall the sofa is just disastrous. I think you should all look at it, laugh, and feel sorry for Becky. She agrees with me so it's not like I'm being horrible because she detests it also.
Right, that shall conclude today's post because I am running out of things to say and anyone reading this is getting bored. Don't forget to click "read it" because I really want to get into double figures.
Love Peace etc. xxxxxxxxxxx
